Locked
by OroChick
Summary: Ch. 3conclusion! My first RK fic. Kaoru is training and Kenshin is watching. Find out Kaoru's feelings toward Kenshin and why she's training so hard. KK RR!
1. Kaoru

Title: Locked

Author: Ty

Disclaimer:  I do not and have never owned Rurouni Kenshin.  If I did, it wouldn't be half as interesting as it is now.  Believe me.

Author's Note:  This is just something that poured out of me.  I have no idea where it came from, but here it is.  This is my first RK fic, but don't let that stop you from flaming me mercilessly.  

Time frame:  There is no specific time frame.  You can slip it in whenever you want.  I can see it slipping in either after the Shishio incident or the Enishi fiasco.  You be the judge.

****

Locked 

            She trained.

She could feel his eyes on her and briefly considered stopping.  No, better let him watch; let him know that this was her only outlet.  This was her only hope at grasping her remaining sanity before she—

Before she what?  Screamed?  Cried?  Ran to him and shook him, trying to convey to him the weight of her emotions?  The agony of—

No.  She would not think it—could not think it.  She had suffered this…feeling—_this pain_—long before even she was aware of it.  But now she _was_ aware.

So she trained.

She trained until her muscles screamed and her heart cried out in pure agony, pleading with her to stop the madness.  

But she could not stop.  This was her problem from the start.  No matter what she did she just could not stop the torrent of emotions that flew through her when she saw his anguished eyes, his tortured soul.

This…this _searing, screaming rampage_ that tore through her as she heard him cry out in his sleep.  The pain she felt radiating from his room during the dark of night.  They could not be stopped.  At least—not by herself.

No!  He must never know, never hear how her heart rips to shreds at the mere thought of his anguish. 

So she trained.

She worked her frustration, pain, rage, and Gods only know what else out in her katas.  Swinging her wooden sword with a strength even she didn't know she had.  And she hoped and prayed that one day, just one simple day, she could bring herself to demolish those barriers she put up over those lonely years.

Then maybe she could bring herself to tell Kenshin of this.  But for now, Kaoru's locked emotions would stay just that—locked.

****

End Note:  There.  My nice angsty one-shot.  If you like this, then I may write a piece with Kenshin's feelings.  Should make for some interesting writing with the whole I-am-unworthy, I-did-bad-things, Let-me-go-rot-in-my-own-personal-hell-for-the-rest-of-my-life thing.  But, to know that you _do_ like it, I have to get reviews…you know what to do.


	2. Kenshin

Author:  Ty

Title:  Locked

Disclaimer:  I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.  Trust me, if I did, it wouldn't be half as good as it is.

Rating:  G, I guess…

Summary:  Angst abound with a touch of romance.

**Chapter 2:  Kenshin**

She was training again.  

Kenshin could hear her breathing and grunts as she swung her bokken with sheer efficiency.  He had to admit—she was good.

There were other things, deeper things (maybe even better things?) that he wanted to admit.  But something was hold him back.  Something deep inside him screaming 'Are you crazy?  You can't have _her_!  She's perfect!'

But she wasn't perfect.  He knew this in his heart; had accepted it.  His brain—his stupid, meddlesome brain—told him that she was everything he could never have.  This was his punishment.  This was his pain.

Although, there were some things he would let himself indulge in.  Friends—no—_family _being one of them.  And another was _this_, right now.

Watching her train.

Seeing her move with grace and power.

It made him just want to reach out and touch her;  feel the way her mucles contracted as she moved.

And that's when it happened.  She—his beloved Kaoru—stopped and turned to him.  Their eyes locked and all the sudden he knew what she felt.  The pain—the heartbreaking, self-esteem snatching pain—that she held inside.  And another thing—love.

He couldn't breathe, couldn't speak.  He could only stare at her glowing blue orbs.  With a shock, he noticed the glow was tears.  She was crying—for _him_.  She was in pain because of _his unworthy self_.

Shaken, Kenshin stood there with Kaoru looking back at him.  She seemed to be deciding something.  He knew the moment when she made up her mind as she threw down her bokken and shot out of the room as fast as she could.  In the distance, he heard her bedroom door slam and he sank to the ground in shock.

He now knew how she felt.  He couldn't deny his emotions anymore for fear of hurting her.  But the question was—what would he do next?

****

And my question for you, gentlereaders, is what do you think of the second chapter?  Love it?  Hate it?  Wish for me to burn the notebook I originally wrote it in?  Write me a review so I can know what you think.  

And to all of you who reviewed last time, thank you!  I really appreciated your comments and tried my best to make a good second chapter.  

Specific Thanks:

Kathleen Stacy- Aww!  Don't cry!  Here it is!

Shiomei- I decided not to make it a one-shot after all.  Enjoy!

Lavinia- I think I'm going to continue it myself, but if you think you don't like what I do with it, you can make an alternate ending if you want.  

Princess of Darkness and me- here you go!

Whisper*2*imaginary- OUCH!  Stop whacking!  I made another chapter!  Geez! LOL

Stargazers-  Here is the next installment, dearest Fi.  Now quite "Hello-my-name-is-Kenshin-and-I-am-evil" fic, but close, eh?  Lylas!

And to the rest of you who did not review, 'tis okay.  You can make it up to me by reviewing this chapter!  


	3. Resolution

Title:                 Locked

Author: Ty

Chapter:            3; conclusion

Disclaimer:        I do not and most probably will never own Rurouni Kenshin.  Much more talented and rich people do.

AN:                  I have no excuse for this being so late except that after two chapters I got so stuck that I couldn't even write a paragraph without getting very mad, balling it up, and setting ablaze with a nearby candle.  I hope that this is an adequate conclusion to my story and that those very few who actually liked this monstrosity enjoy it.  Thank you to those who reviewed and to those lovely lurkers who really just did not feel like reviewing.  The fact that you even read it in the first place makes me want to dance with joy, walk on clouds, and sing many renditions of "We're Off To See The Wizard."  

Locked:  Chapter 3 

            She stifled her tears until she made it to her room.  Her room—it had become her sanctuary.  She'd cried in that room often since her father died; the room that knew all her secrets.  It heard her cry out in her sleep when she had nightmares.  It also knew of something else—something deeper: her love for Kenshin.  Kaoru imagined that if it could talk back, it would have wonderful advice that would soothe her soul.  But it couldn't and all she heard were the echoes of her sobs.

Another person heard her sobs too, but was lost as to how to make them stop.  No—that was a lie.  He knew how to make them stop.  But he had been in denial so long that it was hard to finally admit his feelings.  Long had he kept them a secret and long had he thought them unreciprocated.  The question that burned in his mind as he stood outside Kaoru's bedroom was how he would go about telling her.  He had hurt her deeply and Kenshin was unsure if she would accept his love for what it was and not something she had made up in her mind about him loving her as a sister.  His love for her was as a man loved a woman—and what a woman she was!

No!  No time for those thoughts, thought Kenshin.  She's in there crying her eyes out and you act like a walking hormone!

He turned away from the door of her room and went to the kitchen.  He looked around and an idea struck him.  Tea!  He should make tea.  It would soothe her enough so he could talk to her.  He set about making the tea.  When it was finished, he put it on a pray and carried it to Kaoru's room.

---------------------------

            Kaoru jerked her head toward the door as someone knocked.  She had an idea who it was and responded by shouting, "Go away!"  She didn't think she could take another "Miss Kaoru" today.

The knocker was persistent and knocked again.  She sighed and wiped her eyes.  She stood up and walked over to the door.  When she slid it open she saw Kenshin with a tea tray and a nervous expression.

"Yes, Kenshin?" she asked blankly.

            " I made some tea and I wanted to know if you would share it with me," he said in a hopeful tone, which paired with his nervous expression was slightly comical.

            This, of course, was the last thing she wanted to do—the first being mope over her unreciprocated love—but she nodded anyway and motioned him into her room.

            She sat and waited as he set up the tea and rook the cup from him when he offered.  Kaoru had a feeling this wasn't going to be tea as normal so she kept silent.  Kenshin looked ready to say something but apparently kept changing his mind.  After five minutes of this, he sighed and looked at her.

"Miss Kaoru," he started, "I want to explain something to you, but I will not be able to if you ask questions in the middle, that I will not.  So, if you listen to what I say first, I will try my best not to take up too much of your time."

He seemed to be gathering all of the courage he could and she could do nothing but nod.  He took a deep breath and let all of his feelings flow into his next words.

"For so long, I was alone.  I taught myself to hide my emotions so my enemy couldn't read me as well as I could them.  I had no reasons to let my emotions be known.  I did this so long that it became second nature for me to act indifferent.  But now as I see the tear marks on your face and the sorrow in your eyes, I see that I have unknowingly hurt you and I told myself I would never do that.  I've told myself a lot of things over the years but the biggest lie was that I did not love you."

Here he stopped to gather his thoughts to try to justify his actions but could find no excuse.  As he looked ay her, she started to cry again.  His desperation to stop her tears pushed him forward into the rest of his speech.

"I have no excuse for my actions and I can understand if you do not wish to return this unworthy one's love—" 

He was cut off abruptly as Kaoru launched herself across the tea tray and hugged him while crying and laughing at the same time.  She pulled back from the hug, her arms still around his neck.

"Kenshin no baka!" she laughed, her tears finally drying up.

Kenshin murmured a soft "Oro!" but smiled as he looked into her eyes.  He saw that her eyes were glowing, not from tears as they were before, but with love for him.

"I love you too, my silly rurouni," Kaoru said and that's when she knew that her heart had only remained locked until Kenshin found the key.

THE END!

AN2:    I have noticed my complete lack of being able to write long fics.  They _seem_ long when I wrote them out on paper but my deceptively huge writing always makes it shorter.  Grr.  

            Anyway, I finished this thing—finally—and I wish to know what you think.  Please leave a review (or a flame…) or not or whatever.  Thanks!

            Ty a.k.a. OroChick


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